Hello there, week 28!

Today marks the beginning of the 3rd trimester! We have 12 weeks until Boyshteyn is due!

Crap. We have 12 weeks until Boyshteyn is due. We do not have a pediatrician. We do not have his room painted. We do not have the new floor in his room (nor have we even picked it out). We do not have his crib assembled. Crap. I guess when we get back from Michigan we will have to get started on some of this stuff…

I’ve started having really freaking random dreams. Last night it was that Boyshteyn was born early (like at 5 months) but was fine. In fact, he was talking within a couple of days & came home 3 days after he was born. Biggest problem was when we got home & realized we didn’t have anything ready for him. We quickly assembled all of his furniture & put it in the front yard under the trees. I kept forgetting to change his diapers but Misha & my mom were out there changing them. I then realized that I only have 1 gDiaper and really needed more. For some reason the lack of diapers was stressing me out, not the fact that we were planning on leaving him outside in his crib.

One of the oddest has to be the dream where I actually delivered Boyshteyn & he was black. I was freaking out trying to figure out how to explain it to Misha, but he wasn’t even asking any questions. I kept waiting for him to yell at me, but he kept saying that Boyshteyn looked like his brother when he was born. I wanted to ask him if Jacob was black when he was born too, but decided to leave it alone. I figured maybe he hadn’t noticed. (Dreams don’t have  to be logical.)

What’s new with me? Not much. I’m still nauseous. I threw up today right in front of the entrance to the pedicure place. I almost had a seizure last Saturday, so I’ve increased my Lamictal dose again. Boyshteyn still loves to dance. I think we’ll enter him into a breakdancing contest as soon as we can.

My stomach is freaking huge, but two nice people at the hospital today told me that I’m so small for being 6 months. (They were just being nice, but I’ll take it!) I’m actually going to post a belly picture because I look redonkulous. You’re welcome.

Yes, this is a high-quality iPhone shot. Misha had the camera & I am so not going to bother retaking it. ~28 weeks!~

Posted in Adventures in pregnancy, Boyshteyn | 3 Comments

Cadillac News article

The Cadillac News did an article on what happened to Cole. It’s okay, but misses some major points. I posted a comment to clear some things up, but the stupid thing formatted as one long paragraph. Here’s a link to the article & here’s my comment in a more readable format:

I should first mention that I am Brock’s sister, so hopefully I can fill in some of the blanks.

Cole was left in the garage for a little over an hour when my mom went to work. John did know that he was in there, but hit the button to open the door without thinking. He immediately realized his mistake, but the safety features garage doors have to keep kids from being hurt prevented him from closing the door again. He immediately went out trying to get Cole to come back, but Cole was too fast. John and my eight-year-old brother searched for hours that night, but they weren’t able to get Cole back home.

Brock and Darci came back from their vacation that night, and they along with my mom and John spent countless hours everyday searching for Cole. My mom posted signs all over Manton and the calls Brock received allowed them to narrow their search. We had such hope that he would be found and brought home, but unfortunately Officer Dennis Rogers found him first.

One very important point is that Rogers was not truthful with Brock when he called to inform him of Cole’s death. He told Brock that they had done everything they could, but were unable to save Cole. This implies that Cole received medical attention, which is simply not the case. Not to be crass, but no one could consider shooting him in the head after finding him to be doing everything they could. Why was the officer not truthful with Brock?

Rogers told my mom that when he approached Cole, he was extremely weak and got up and wobbled around. He Told her that he didn’t think he could get the loop around Cole’s neck and was worried that Cole would go back into the woods. If Cole “could hardly move” how on earth would he have been able to “dash into the woods”? Obviously, I was not there, but if Cole could hardly move, why did Rogers not even attempt to tranquilize him and take him in for care? It seems to me that a dog who is unable to move very much would be fairly easy to tranquilize. Lt. Denison says in the article that the officer can shoot an animal if it “cannot be tranquilized or captured”, but Rogers did not even attempt to tranquilize Cole, and from his own account, it sounds unlikely that Cole could have gone back into the woods. Doesn’t this mean that he went against department policy?

As the article states, Rogers assumed that a tranquilizer would kill Cole. He *assumed* this, but he has no way of knowing that it would have. Cole had a family who loved him and would have done anything to save him. They weren’t even given the chance to say goodbye to him. Even if tranquilizing him would have had killed him (which we will never know since he was not given medical attention), he would have at least been given the chance to receive care. I won’t speculate on why Rogers chose to shoot him instead of giving Cole a chance, but I feel it is important to stress that Rogers has no sort of veterinary training. Yes, he’s worked in this division for almost 20 years, but that does not qualify him to make life or death decisions with a lost animal. I worked as a pharmacy technician for 14 years, but that does not qualify me to prescribe medicine or counsel people on their health.

Something not really addressed in this article is the fact that Rogers used the tags on Cole’s collar to contact Brock *after* dumping his body in the landfill. Why did he dump Cole’s body first? Why when Brock called to request release of the body for cremation did Rogers simply tell him that it was too late and offer no further explanation? Why did it take a call from my mom to Rogers to find out what actually happened to Cole? Yes, in the end he retrieved his body, but I don’t want to give him too much credit, because he should have been honest from the start. I find it hard to believe that dumping an animal’s body before contacting the owner is part of procedure. He showed blatant disrespect for Cole and no compassion for those who loved him. Simply put, Cole deserved better than the way Rogers treated him.

Lt. Denison stated that “the dog had appeared to have tangled with a porcupine soon after it got loose”, but he has no way of knowing that. He did not even see Cole’s body since Rogers shot Cole, dumped his body in the landfill and retrieved the body all on Sunday. This is irresponsible speculation. None of the calls Brock and Darci received from people who had seen Cole mentioned porcupine quills. Rogers told my mom that he had received a call from someone who had seen a Great Dane with quills in his face three days before he shot Cole. This is the first mention of anyone seeing Cole with quills in his face. Again, none of the calls Brock and Darci received in the 10 days prior to the call Rogers received indicated that. Denison has no way of knowing when Cole came in contact with a porcupine and I am puzzled as to why he would speculate as he did.

He also said Cole was “skin and bones” without ever seeing his body. Unlike Denison, my mom and John did see Cole’s body. Of course he was thin -he had been lost for 13 days. However, they both said that he did not look as bad as Denison says.

Nothing is going to bring Cole back. Nothing can make his family feel better about this situation, but I think that the Wexford County Sheriff’s Office needs to seriously review the animal control division policies. One would hope that the first course of action no matter the situation would be to tranquilize an animal to bring it in for proper care. The animal control officers are not qualified to determine if a pet can or cannot be saved. They simply do not have any type of medical training and should not be given the power to make that kind of decision. I think that all of the officers need to go through retraining and the policy needs to change. Only a licensed veterinarian should be able to make life or death decisions.

Posted in 'cause I'm a bitch, 'cause I'm always right | 2 Comments

Letter about Cole

Almost everyone who knows me knows what happened to Brock & Darci’s dog. My mom submitted a letter to her local paper about what happened, but they won’t publish it unless it’s cut down to 300 words. I don’t think it’s possible to do that, so I’m posting it here. The paper is planning to write an article about it, & I’ll post the link once that’s done.

Things to keep in mind when reading this:

  • Cole was missing for 13 days & signs were posted all over town.
  • Animal Control had been contacted & offered to place a cage in the area he was seen in the next time he was spotted.
  • My mom, Brock, & Darci were searching for him every single day.
  • Animal Control policy (per the supervisor) is to tranquillize a pet to bring them in for treatment. Cole was clearly a pet & had a collar & tags, but was shot along the side of the road.
  • The Animal Control officer took Cole’s collar off & dumped his body in the landfill before contacting Brock. The dumping of a pet is also not in line with their policy.
  • He lied about what happened & it took a phone call from my mom about getting Cole’s body for cremation to get the real story out of the guy. He said he shot him because he didn’t think he could get him with the loop & was afraid he would run off into the woods.
  • The officer went to the landfill & picked up Cole’s body after his shift was over then brought it to my mom’s house so she could have him cremated. He also admitted to my mom that he could have handled it differently.
  • The officer didn’t bother to file a report for 5 days.
  • The only reprimand the animal control officer is getting is a letter placed in his file about dumping the body. Nothing about not following procedure for the rest of it. No suspension (we expected that), no retraining, just a letter & back on the job without missing a beat. At least in Galena Park, they admitted that the officer was wrong & action was taken against him.
  • This particular officer has been on the job for 24 years. One would assume that he would be quite familiar with their policies.

My opinion is that even if he really thought Cole wouldn’t make it, he should have followed procedure & tranquilized him. I don’t know what shape he was in, but it’s somewhat conceivable that Cole was in such bad shape that he would not have made it after being given the tranquilizer. (I don’t think this was probably the case for a number of reasons, but I didn’t see him & much like the officer wouldn’t be qualified to make that determination.) Even so, he would have been given a chance & it’s much more humane treatment than shooting him in the head. I realize it’s crass to keep repeating that, but it’s what he did. Cole was very loved and deserved better than that.

I’ll never understand why he shot Cole, but I don’t think he did it out of compassion. If he had, he wouldn’t have felt the need to lie or tried to cover things up. He would have called Brock & told him that he found Cole, but he was in such bad shape that he put him out of his misery. I still wouldn’t have thought it was okay since he is in no way qualified to make that decision, but it would have been better than killing him & dumping his body. By doing so, he disrespected Cole as well as those who loved him. The man disgusts me.

I’m not posting his name, but I will say that if you go to the Wexford County Animal Control site, he’s the only one with a mustache.

On to the letter:

My family has a very special relationship with pets. We have always seen them as family and losing someone this close to you is incredibly hard, especially when the loss is so unnecessary and pointless.

Every summer I watch my son’s dog named Cole while he and his fiancée are on vacation. Cole was a black four-year-old Great Dane who was as sweet as he was big. Cole was an enormous, funny dog, who was afraid of strangers and would often sit on my lap as if he were a lap dog. I always looked forward to having him. This year the unthinkable happened. A door was accidentally opened and Cole ran outside and disappeared.

My son ended his vacation and we immediately launched a frantic search. We placed an ad in the newspaper and on the radio. We nailed dozens of brightly colored posters all over Manton and tried to find him before he got hurt. The Wexford Animal Control offered to place a cage in an area he was recently seen to try to lure him in with food. Soon people began calling to let us know where they had seen Cole. It was incredibly frustrating to miss him every time, sometimes by a matter of minutes, but we continued to spend countless hours looking. Cole had his collar and tags. He was healthy and well taken care of. Even as the odds of finding him dwindled, we never gave up hope and were determined to continue to search.

We had searched for 13 days when my son received a call from an animal control officer who said we could pick up Cole’s collar and tags. The officer told him that he had found Cole in very bad condition, with porcupine quills lodged in his throat and barely able to walk. The vet had done everything he could, but he could not be saved. His body would not be available for cremation. He was simply gone.

It was only after I called the officer to understand why we could not pick up his body when I found out what really happened. Cole is very scared of strangers and tried to walk away when he was found. The officer chose to shoot him in the head, because he was afraid that Cole was going to disappear into the woods. Rather than show basic human kindness and follow procedure to tranquilize the animal for treatment by a veterinarian, he opted to kill Cole along the side of the road. Before even attempting to call my son, Cole’s body was dumped on a landfill like common trash.

We have no way of knowing whether Cole could have survived. He simply never had a chance. Cole was loved very much. He was a member of our family. I will never forgive myself for letting him get away, but the thought of him suffering, alone and afraid for 13 days before being senselessly shot on the side of the road makes his loss unbearable.

Our animal control services are there to protect animals when they need us most, rather than provide expedient disposal of them when they become an inconvenience. We fervently hope that other families never experience the heartache we have and Wexford County takes the necessary steps to avoid needlessly hurting animals in the future.

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Boyshteyn’s room

I’m slowly getting things together for Boyshteyn’s room. We can’t really do much until the walls are painted & the flooring replaced, but I at least have some plans now.

The furniture was fairly simple. We were pretty sure that we wanted a convertible set that could at least become a toddler bed. I fell in love with a set at Babies R Us & got an amazing deal. The special at the time I ordered was purchase the glider, crib, & dresser to get the changing table for free.

I placed my order the last day of the special & once I hit send got a message telling me that the crib wasn’t available so the it & the changing table had been removed. I called the next day & it was actually in stock, so they set it up for me to get the crib at 20% off for the inconvenience & the changing table was still free! Go Babies R Us! This is our set:

The crib converts to a toddler bed, then to a double bed.

I’m having the bedding made. After searching I couldn’t find anything I liked at all. Then I finally found some awesome stuff but it was well over $300 for a three-piece set & I just couldn’t justify spending that much on bedding! I found someone on Etsy who had the same fabric & is making a larger set for much less. It includes a bumper with a removable cover (so it can be washed), two sheets, a bed skirt, a blanket (to be used when he’s older), & two curtains.

This is what the bedding will look like:

Yes, I'm using bumpers.

The curtains will be in the same stripe pattern as the bed skirt & the blanket will be a combination of the three. Similar to this (Thanks for the quick photochop work, Tara):

I'm leaving the order of the patterns up to the designer.

The light! I love the light. I really had no plans on changing the light that is in the room, but Misha found one at Ikea the other night that we both liked. I think it will be really cute in there!

Adorable, no?

My Twitter friend, Julia, sent me a link to a nightlight this morning & I think it’s perfect:

It supposedly creates a constellation pattern on the walls, which would be quite cute..

So far that’s it. We’re going to put some plants in there (hanging spider plants are recommended for baby rooms) & we’re going to look at flooring this week because we want to have that replaced soon. The carpet in that room isn’t in the best shape. Misha wants to put photographs on the walls. I think pictures of the puppy girls would be cute.

I need to pick a paint color very soon. I’m considering just going with a neutral cream color. I don’t think I want the typical blue room because there’s so much blue in there already with the bedding. I had planned on going with a caffè latte color (the same color our living room used to be & the entryway is now), but I’m just not sure. Suggestions?

Posted in Boyshteyn | 3 Comments

The state of my uterus, or: Everybody was kung fu fighting

I’m fairly certain that I am currently housing a ninja. This baby seriously likes to kick. Like violently. And often. Misha hasn’t felt him move yet, but he’s seen it. It’s freaky. It’s a little reminiscent of the “chestburster” in Alien at times.

Dramatic recreation of what my stomach looks like.

Oh yeah, in case you’re one of the very few people who doesn’t know, we’re having a boy. No, we don’t have a name. No, we’re not even close to having a name. We each made a list of names that we like. Misha promptly shot down all but one of mine. His name list consists solely of 3 letter names (Max, Sam, Ari, etc.). We’ve tabled it & decided to revisit in late October/early November. For now he is known as Boyshteyn!

I still have morning/noon/night sickness. It’s better than it was & I am able to eat more now. If I take a Zofran at 2 am, and again at 8am, I’m mostly okay. That’s not to say that I don’t throw up, it’s just not the debilitating nausea I had before. Since my first visit at 7 & 1/2 weeks, I’ve lost 17lbs. Well, 16 lbs now because I gained 2 back, but then lost 1 between visits. My doctor isn’t happy, but Boyshteyn is measuring exactly as he should (kow) and the weight loss isn’t as bad as it was. I lost at least 8lbs on our trip to Europe. She said just to eat what I can. She wants me to try to gain back the weight that I’ve lost.

I’ve made it past the halfway point! I’ll be 23 weeks on Friday! (That’s out of 40 weeks for those who do not know.) According to Babycenter, Boyshteyn is about the length of a spaghetti squash & weighs about the same as a mango. That’s confusing to me. Basically, he’s just over 11 inches long from head to foot & weighs just over a pound. I’d really like to know who decided that an entire pineapple (week 33) would be a good visual comparison for a pregnant woman.

We’ve had a few scares through the pregnancy. You know, because nothing can be easy. In addition to the nausea/vomiting/weight loss, we’ve had spotting & rounds of wonky blood work. The first round of screenings came back with an increased risk of Down’s Syndrome. We went to see a genetic counselor who told us that she thought it was unlikely since the neck measurement from the ultrasound was perfect. We opted not to do any invasive testing & just see what the second trimester screening determined.

In the second round, the risk of D/S dropped to something like 1:10,000, but the spina bifida risk came back as high. My doctor was especially nervous about that since Lamictal (my seizure medication) can cause spina bifida. She had an appointment set up with a perinatologist & sent us back to the genetic counselor.

She told me to keep the appointment I had with her the next day (Tuesday afternoon), but to make sure I went to the appointment she set up with the specialist on Wednesday. Tuesday morning I wake up nauseous as usual, Misha leaves for work & I start violently throwing up. Not terribly uncommon, but then I suddenly get this sharp pain that makes me double over. This is followed by a little bit of spotting, which is not a good combination when you’re pregnant.

I called the nurse & asked (while sobbing) if I could come in early for my appointment & explained what happened.  She told me to hang up & come right in. Best of all? She didn’t treat me like an idiot! Misha immediately turned around so he could drive me in while I sobbed on the phone with my mommy. You’ll never guess what it was… I pulled a muscle throwing up. Yep. I pulled a muscle. From throwing up! Yes, I have re injured it since then (while throwing up) thanks for asking. The spotting? Just a coincidence. Isn’t that just special?

My OB called the specialist & told them what was going on & asked if they could see me right away. This would allow me to get my detailed ultrasound to check on the spina bifida & both doctors could make sure there really wasn’t anything to worry about from the pain.

The perinatologist did the ultrasound & said the spine looks great. She didn’t see any gaps, but wants me to come back August 13th to recheck. If everything looks okay then, I won’t have to see her again unless I have any problems. She & my OB do still have some concerns though. Since both screenings came back with high AFP levels, that could be a sign of problems to come.

However, the specialist said since I’ve had bleeding (spotting) during the pregnancy, that might be the cause of it. It’s not necessarily that simple though. They’re both concerned that I might end up having preeclampsia, which would suck & would put me on bed rest. It could also be a sign that I’ll have gestational diabetes, or that Boyshteyn might have problems with developing. They’re keeping an eye on his size to make sure nothing slows down.

Let’s all just hope that it turns out to be nothing. Just some strange fluke & I get through the pregnancy & Boyshteyn is born in late November. I really don’t think I can take any more drama.

It’s so much fun to be me right now. I’m fairly certain Boyshteyn is going to be an only child. He’ll have puppies to play with. Perhaps they can raise him to be a wolf-boy. Maybe we should name him Alcide

For now, I leave you with the genius that is Garfunkel & Oates:

P.S. Kelly -I’m totally working on the homophone blog post.

Posted in Adventures in pregnancy, Boyshteyn | 3 Comments

Must remain calm. Must remember to breathe.

OBDoc: Everything looks good, but let’s get you to 12 weeks, then I’ll give you the all clear.

My body: Let’s totally fuck with her head and cause some spotting at 11 weeks 6 days. That would be awesome and would totally make her a basket case.

Me around 11pm: I’ll be 12 weeks tomorrow & the NT Scan is tomorrow! I’ll feel so much better after that’s done. Wait… is that blood???

It’s not much, and it’s probably nothing to worry about, but FFS! Someone please give me a freaking break here.

I have to be up in less than 5 hours to go to the NT scan, so I’m going to look at the wall and hope to fall asleep.

Posted in Adventures in pregnancy | Leave a comment

I’m terrible at being pregnant

I really wanted to be one of those annoyingly perky pregnant women.

disgustingly happy pregnant woman

I said early on that this was going to be a picture perfect pregnancy. I wasn’t going to have morning sickness, I was going to be energetic, I was going to eat well, & drink 64 ounces of water daily. Blah, blah, blah.

My body just does not do pregnant well. I’m the pregnant woman who cannot keep much food down & is considering borrowing a bed from the dogs to put on the bathroom floor. I spend enough time sitting there that it sounds like a good solution. Me & my new MacBook chillin’ in the bathroom on a puppy bed. Yep. This is my life:

how I spend my days

Don’t get me started on the people who say “Morning sickness is a good sign! It means everything is going well with the pregnancy!” Um. No. It’s not a good or bad sign. I don’t believe in those anymore. I had morning sickness then hyperemesis with my first pregnancy & had a miscarriage. I realize they’re trying to be helpful, but there’s only so many times you can hear that before you scream.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that I’m finally pregnant. I’m lucky that it happened finally & I’m very happy. It will be worth it in the long-run. (My mantra) I’m just so ready for the second trimester to start. I found a shirt at Zazzle that’s just perfect for me. It says: Pregnancy makes me happily miserable

Thank you Zazzle shirt creator. That pretty much sums it up.

Posted in Adventures in pregnancy | 7 Comments

A funny thing happened on the way to the Clomid

Almost anyone reading this blog knows that I miscarried in December 2008. Most people reading this blog know that I haven’t been able to get pregnant since then. In January it was officially a year since we started trying again after the miscarriage, so in February I made an appointment to see the OB.

We had a trip to San Francisco planned from March 4-7, so I scheduled the appointment for Wednesday, the 10th, after we got back. After letting me whine for a while, my doctor asked me if I wanted to give Clomid a try. She was willing to prescribe it for up to 3 cycles before sending me to a specialist. I had already decided that Clomid would be the best route & I was all set to start during the next cycle. She gave me a prescription with strict instructions to do a pregnancy test before I started taking them just as a precaution.

I was due to start the Clomid cycle on March 20th or 21st, so I did a pregnancy test on the 18th on a whim. Positive. Holy crap!?! ZOMG!!! What? I opened up another box (What? You don’t want to use the same box in case there was something wrong with that batch!) and made Misha wait on the phone with me while I did the second test. Positive again.

Yep, that’s right! I’m officially, officially pregnant! I’ve had 2 ultrasounds and everything looks perfect. I will be 10 weeks on Friday. The baby is measuring exactly as it should and has a very strong heartbeat. I’m due November 26th, so no post-Thanksgiving party at our house this year either.

The first ultrasound was at 7 weeks 4 days, so it didn’t really look like much. I thought it looked like an otter, Misha said Silly Putty. My lovely, wonderful, amazing OB knew that I was going to be nervous because during my first pregnancy the baby stopped developing at 7 weeks 4 days, so she offered to do another ultrasound 2 weeks later. Love that woman so much.

We did the second ultrasound today and it was amazing. It actually looks like a baby now & is such a wiggle worm. It was turning & the little arms & legs were going crazy. Misha says we’ve got a little Bboy in there. I hope it’s a Bgirl! I didn’t know what to expect to be quite honest. I knew at this stage that the baby should be moving around, and looked up what the ultrasound picture should look like, but I was worried. I was so scared that the image on the screen was going to be the same image we saw at the last ultrasound 2 weeks ago. As soon as the baby came into focus I could see that it was much bigger & then it started squirming.

I’m sure it’s the same way for any parent-to-be, but after going through a miscarriage & over a year of trying… I can’t find words to describe how it feels to see the baby actually moving & to know that it’s growing as it should. It has doubled in size over the past 2 weeks!

So that’s my big news! I’m pregnant, I’ve an unused Clomid script in my wallet, I’ve resorted to carrying Morning Chicness bags with me everywhere & I don’t think I’ve ever been happier.

Posted in Adventures in pregnancy, Uncategorized | 7 Comments

Overshare of the day

I just managed to projectile vomit over Zoë* into the bathroom sink. I got mad skillz yo!

Separate post about the ultrasound to come later once the nausea is better controlled.

*No puppies were harmed in this. By over I mean above her, not on her

Posted in Adventures in food aversions, Do NOT put that in your mouth!, It's a puke story, baby just say blech | Leave a comment

I will not shop for the baby. I will not shop for the baby. I will not shop for the baby.

I’m only 9 weeks. It’s too early to shop. It’s not too early to look is it?

I found this website and I love it so much that I want to buy hundreds of dollars worth of stuff from it. I will not, of course, but I want to. I don’t really want anything too “babyish” for the baby. Most of what I like is stuff like this:

Crib set

Don't know what a "stroller blanket" is, but I like the print.

Yes, I looked at some girl stuff too!

Maybe not *this* exactly, but I like the idea & that it's not all pastels.

It's a diaper changing pad, but I like the retro print.

I was at Target the other day & a lady was walking around with a diaper bag that was humongous light blue & had stars & moons on it. It was cute, but I so don’t get that. The baby has no clue what you’re carrying around. The diaper bag is an accessory & I don’t understand why anyone would want one that looks so babyish. I want something that looks like a purse I might carry around. I’ll be the one carrying it, so why would I want something so awkward? There are so many cute options out available:

Pretty & looks like something I would carry.

I already have a purse that is similar to this!

Not exactly me, but cute.

There’s really not a point to this post, but since I feel nauseous all the time & can’t really focus on anything, this was an easy one to put up here. I still need to post about the first u/s, but I’ll do that sometime after the second one on Tuesday. Then I can just combine the posts.

Posted in Adventures in pregnancy | 2 Comments