I’m fairly certain that I am currently housing a ninja. This baby seriously likes to kick. Like violently. And often. Misha hasn’t felt him move yet, but he’s seen it. It’s freaky. It’s a little reminiscent of the “chestburster” in Alien at times.

Dramatic recreation of what my stomach looks like.

Oh yeah, in case you’re one of the very few people who doesn’t know, we’re having a boy. No, we don’t have a name. No, we’re not even close to having a name. We each made a list of names that we like. Misha promptly shot down all but one of mine. His name list consists solely of 3 letter names (Max, Sam, Ari, etc.). We’ve tabled it & decided to revisit in late October/early November. For now he is known as Boyshteyn!

I still have morning/noon/night sickness. It’s better than it was & I am able to eat more now. If I take a Zofran at 2 am, and again at 8am, I’m mostly okay. That’s not to say that I don’t throw up, it’s just not the debilitating nausea I had before. Since my first visit at 7 & 1/2 weeks, I’ve lost 17lbs. Well, 16 lbs now because I gained 2 back, but then lost 1 between visits. My doctor isn’t happy, but Boyshteyn is measuring exactly as he should (kow) and the weight loss isn’t as bad as it was. I lost at least 8lbs on our trip to Europe. She said just to eat what I can. She wants me to try to gain back the weight that I’ve lost.

I’ve made it past the halfway point! I’ll be 23 weeks on Friday! (That’s out of 40 weeks for those who do not know.) According to Babycenter, Boyshteyn is about the length of a spaghetti squash & weighs about the same as a mango. That’s confusing to me. Basically, he’s just over 11 inches long from head to foot & weighs just over a pound. I’d really like to know who decided that an entire pineapple (week 33) would be a good visual comparison for a pregnant woman.

We’ve had a few scares through the pregnancy. You know, because nothing can be easy. In addition to the nausea/vomiting/weight loss, we’ve had spotting & rounds of wonky blood work. The first round of screenings came back with an increased risk of Down’s Syndrome. We went to see a genetic counselor who told us that she thought it was unlikely since the neck measurement from the ultrasound was perfect. We opted not to do any invasive testing & just see what the second trimester screening determined.

In the second round, the risk of D/S dropped to something like 1:10,000, but the spina bifida risk came back as high. My doctor was especially nervous about that since Lamictal (my seizure medication) can cause spina bifida. She had an appointment set up with a perinatologist & sent us back to the genetic counselor.

She told me to keep the appointment I had with her the next day (Tuesday afternoon), but to make sure I went to the appointment she set up with the specialist on Wednesday. Tuesday morning I wake up nauseous as usual, Misha leaves for work & I start violently throwing up. Not terribly uncommon, but then I suddenly get this sharp pain that makes me double over. This is followed by a little bit of spotting, which is not a good combination when you’re pregnant.

I called the nurse & asked (while sobbing) if I could come in early for my appointment & explained what happened.  She told me to hang up & come right in. Best of all? She didn’t treat me like an idiot! Misha immediately turned around so he could drive me in while I sobbed on the phone with my mommy. You’ll never guess what it was… I pulled a muscle throwing up. Yep. I pulled a muscle. From throwing up! Yes, I have re injured it since then (while throwing up) thanks for asking. The spotting? Just a coincidence. Isn’t that just special?

My OB called the specialist & told them what was going on & asked if they could see me right away. This would allow me to get my detailed ultrasound to check on the spina bifida & both doctors could make sure there really wasn’t anything to worry about from the pain.

The perinatologist did the ultrasound & said the spine looks great. She didn’t see any gaps, but wants me to come back August 13th to recheck. If everything looks okay then, I won’t have to see her again unless I have any problems. She & my OB do still have some concerns though. Since both screenings came back with high AFP levels, that could be a sign of problems to come.

However, the specialist said since I’ve had bleeding (spotting) during the pregnancy, that might be the cause of it. It’s not necessarily that simple though. They’re both concerned that I might end up having preeclampsia, which would suck & would put me on bed rest. It could also be a sign that I’ll have gestational diabetes, or that Boyshteyn might have problems with developing. They’re keeping an eye on his size to make sure nothing slows down.

Let’s all just hope that it turns out to be nothing. Just some strange fluke & I get through the pregnancy & Boyshteyn is born in late November. I really don’t think I can take any more drama.

It’s so much fun to be me right now. I’m fairly certain Boyshteyn is going to be an only child. He’ll have puppies to play with. Perhaps they can raise him to be a wolf-boy. Maybe we should name him Alcide…

For now, I leave you with the genius that is Garfunkel & Oates:

P.S. Kelly -I’m totally working on the homophone blog post.