I suck at being pregnant. My body just does not handle pregnancy well at all.

My first pregnancy was a disaster from start to early finish. I had nausea from 2 days after finding out I was pregnant to 3 days after the d&c. I think I lost 13 pounds in the couple of months I was pregnant.

My pregnancy with Avi wasn’t better. I came home from the hospital 33 pounds lighter than I started the pregnancy. I’m so thankful that my OB was willing to induce me 10 days before his due date. I was at the end of my rope.

Now I’m 29 weeks pregnant with Boy2. I lost 5 pounds early on but then hovered before I started gaining some. Friday I was up 8 pounds from my starting weight but I lost two this weekend because I’m having a hard time keeping anything down. I had been stuffing myself in the hopes that when I threw up some food would stay down and apparently that was working, but I just can’t do it anymore.

My throat is raw and I have a constant cough. I don’t know how bulimics do this. My OB expects me to be down around 30 pounds again when I come home from the hospital.

I’ve had more bleeding with this pregnancy than I had with Avi, but haven’t had the scary test results. With Avi the first trimester screening came back with a high likelihood of Down’s syndrome and the second trimester screening came back with an even higher likelihood of spina bifida, which was already a concern because of my seizures and the medication I take to control them. Thankfully, both were wrong, but the stress brought on by that was terrible.

All in all, I hate being pregnant. Avi was worth every miserable moment and I know Boy2 will be as well, but I really wish I could fast forward. Keep your fingers crossed that my delivery goes as well as it did with Avi. I think I’ve earned it.