I haven’t been blogging about baby stuff because there isn’t really a point. We’re still trying, but nothing yet. I pee on sticks for 10 days every cycle. Then I start peeing on sticks at the end of every cycle only to have disappointment. I know it will happen when it happens, but fuck. That is really draining.
Someone I knew at my first high school sent me a message on MySpace. She’s pregnant. I was really happy for her. Then I continued reading…she’s due on July 9th. That means in 3 months she might be giving birth to her little girl on the day I was due to have my baby. Something about that crushed me.
I’m excited for her (honestly, I am) but I can’t help myself. I’m throwing myself a pity party. I want to be pregnant. I want my baby. I don’t want to have had a miscarriage. I want to be complaining that I am huge and can’t fit into anything. I want the excitement and anticipation back. At the very least I just want to be pregnant again. This hurts and it sucks.
Now please pardon me while I go pee on another stick.
My so Charmed Life 
It will happen. I know you and you are an extraordinary person. Hang in there.
It’s going to happen. You need to relax a bit if you can. I wouldn’t be surprised if it happens soon after you are through with classes.
It’s going to happen. It is so normal to feel that way too. It is so easy to get discouraged. You will get there – I know it. The best thing you can try to do is relax..
Most people don’t know that we have been trying for almost a year and a half for another.. I just found out my little brother (22) has another one on the way. It hurts.. because I feel like it should be me.
I don’t talk about it much – but I’m right there with you.
*hugs*