Partie de la pitié pour moi

I haven’t been blogging about baby stuff because there isn’t really a point. We’re still trying, but nothing yet. I pee on sticks for 10 days every cycle. Then I start peeing on sticks at the end of every cycle only to have disappointment. I know it will happen when it happens, but fuck. That is really draining.

Someone I knew at my first high school sent me a message on MySpace. She’s pregnant. I was really happy for her. Then I continued reading…she’s due on July 9th. That means in 3 months she might be giving birth to her little girl on the day I was due to have my baby. Something about that crushed me.

I’m excited for her (honestly, I am) but I can’t help myself. I’m throwing myself a pity party. I want to be pregnant. I want my baby. I don’t want to have had a miscarriage. I want to be complaining that I am huge and can’t fit into anything. I want the excitement and anticipation back. At the very least I just want to be pregnant again. This hurts and it sucks.

Now please pardon me while I go pee on another stick.

About SP

Recovering pharmacy technician, History BA, wife to a workaholic, mommy to one pup and two boys, epileptic, vegetarian. I've got a mouth like a sailor & find myself becoming more cynical & more liberal all the time.
This entry was posted in Would you like some cheese with your whine? and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Partie de la pitié pour moi

  1. kelly says:

    It will happen. I know you and you are an extraordinary person. Hang in there.

  2. Amy says:

    It’s going to happen. You need to relax a bit if you can. I wouldn’t be surprised if it happens soon after you are through with classes.

  3. Frances says:

    It’s going to happen. It is so normal to feel that way too. It is so easy to get discouraged. You will get there – I know it. The best thing you can try to do is relax..

    Most people don’t know that we have been trying for almost a year and a half for another.. I just found out my little brother (22) has another one on the way. It hurts.. because I feel like it should be me.

    I don’t talk about it much – but I’m right there with you.


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