I’m vacillating between excitement about meeting him (and the nausea ending) and pure terror. We’re not at all ready. The house is a construction site at the moment and will be for probably the next couple of weeks. Our awesome contractor is working his butt off trying to get things done as quickly as possible. I seriously cannot say enough good things about him.

The nursery furniture is not assembled & Carter’s is taking their sweet time getting the missing hardware kit to me, but at least Boy2′s room is ready otherwise. He’ll be in the co-sleeper in our room for a while anyway, so that’s not urgent.

I’d like him to stay put until at least the end of next week so he has more time to develop. From what Dr. F said yesterday, Dr. H (our perinatologist/high risk OB) seems to think he’s ready and would transition well, but I don’t hit 37 weeks until Tuesday.

I think both doctors are worried about my mental stress after the strain of vomiting constantly & losing weight while taking care of the bossiest toddler in the world. I was having a bad day when I last saw Dr. H & was in a lot of pain, but things have been much better since Misha got home from San Francisco.

I’m worried about Avi freaking out when we disappear to the hospital. He’s only ever stayed with my mom and she won’t be here in time. There’s no point in changing her flight because we don’t know for sure that he’s coming. The dilation & increase in contractions points to him being here soon, but there is always a chance that I’ll stall at 4cm for a while.

Jaeden has school & of course mom has to work. It would be really difficult for her to change her schedule on such short notice. Plus, we don’t want her here too early where she leaves before he arrives & if I’m in labor before she comes she won’t make it in time anyway. Dr. F isn’t expecting me to be in labor for more than 4 hours. I’m knocking on every piece of wood that I can find that she’s correct!

Some great friends are going to help us with Avi if his brother does indeed arrive before the 23rd. I figure Misha can come home a few hours after Boy2 is born since if he’s anything like his brother all he’ll be doing is sleeping & nursing. Of course Avi slept all afternoon & the next day, but didn’t sleep more than an hour that first night. There’s not much Misha can do with a newborn since the nursing part is up to me. I’d rather he be here with Avi & hopefully he won’t have as hard of a time adjusting. (He being Avi, not Misha!)

We’re closer to a name finally though! Misha has decided he likes Elan as the first name, but is rejecting all suggestions for a middle name. As of last night it looks likely that he’ll be Elan Ari. I’m not sure that I’m thrilled with the flow, but I like that we’re using both of our top names.

That’s where we’re at right now. Please cross your fingers, knock on wood or whatever it is you do for luck that Boy2 listens to his mommy and stays where he is a little while longer. We’re fortunate that he didn’t decide to come a few weeks ago, but not quite ready for him just yet!

Carrying little brother's elephant around his room.

Same picture as last post - 35 weeks pregnant with Avi

and…

35 weeks, 4 days with Boy2

My skin feels like it’s about to burst.

For the second ultrasound in a row Boy2 refused to show his face. Last time he was facing the wrong direction & this time he covered his face with his arm. Today Dr. H poked him & he put both arms up. I think he’s a little camera shy.

She said that he’s perfect developmentally. He’s really healthy & exactly where he should be. She is mildly concerned though because I have a lot of fluid & wants to recheck in two weeks… “If and I mean if you’re still pregnant then.”

So both Dr. F & Dr. H seem to think he’s coming early. He’s 13 days away from being full term, but since I was breastfeeding, on birth control & didn’t have a regular cycle that’s just our best guess based on his size at the first few ultrasounds. He might be slightly ahead or slightly behind that.

Dr. H thinks the increased contractions are possibly just because of the extra fluid. She said the baby is perfect & not to be overly concerned as long as they don’t get worse or I start to show signs of labor. I’m to relax as much as possible & immediately sit down when I have them.

The main concern at this point would be his lungs. If he were to be born now he would be spending some time in the NICU. Hopefully not too much time, but usually the earlier they come, the longer the stay. My beautiful niece Morgan was born on February 10th at 36 weeks but didn’t have to spend anytime in the NICU & got to go home on schedule.

Ideally, Boy2 would stay put until at least 3/23 so my mom is already here to take care of big brother Avi. I’d like him to stay put until the 26th so my mom will be here & I can make sure it’s my OB delivering.

I will say that it is nice knowing that at most I only have 4 weeks of nausea left. The end of 24 hour/day nausea is definitely  something to look forward to!

Avi says: "Excuse you, I was reading. Take your pictures later."

Naming Boy2 is proving far more difficult than naming Avi or Zoë was. Ari was my second choice for Avi & it has made the short list this time around. The problem I have with Ari is that it might be a bit too cutesy to have Avi & Ari. People keep saying it will be too confusing & they’ll claim not to know who we were calling for. Brock & I did that when we were younger though & our names sound nothing alike.

The other name on the short list is Elan. I’m worried that he’ll spend the rest of his life spelling it out for people & telling them how to pronounce it. We’ve had enough trouble with Avi’s name being pronounced A-V. I’ve always heard Elan pronounced Ee-lahn, but on different baby name sites it’s shown as Ee-lun and Eh-lahn. I’ve even seen it as El-ahn, which to me sounds like Ellen. How have you heard it or what was your first thought when seeing it?

Middle names have proven even more difficult to narrow down… as in we couldn’t come up with any. Most likely if we go with Ari he’ll be named Ari Elan. I like Elan Isaiah, but Misha hates it. My second choice is Elan Alexander, which Misha thinks is okay but isn’t completely sold on.

Now on to why we need to figure this out. I went in for my OB appointment Friday & found out that at just over 34 weeks I’m already at 2 cm dilated. (Full term is 37 weeks & pregnancy is calculated as 40 weeks from last cycle to due date.) There’s a chance that I could stall or even go up to 4 cm without an issue, but my OB (Dr. F) is worried that I may progress too quickly & Boy2 may come early.

She said we’re not at the point where we need to start medication, but that may be a possibility in the future. My next appointment with the high-risk OB (Dr. H) is Wednesday, so I don’t have to go back to Dr. F until 3/9. I’m going to ask Dr. H if I can call her to deliver if I’m in labor & Dr. F isn’t on call. I’d really rather have someone who knows my history deliver Boy2 since the seizures can cause complications.

Dr. F would like me to get to at least 37 weeks, but says ideally I’d get to 38 & go into labor on my own. As much as I’d love the hyperemesis to end that’s not quite the ideal situation for me. My mom & Jaeden are due to arrive 3/22 since I was supposed to be induced 3/27.

The earliest I’d like to deliver would be 3/23 so my mom would be here to take care of Avi & we wouldn’t have to scramble & inconvenience our friends. Our 9 year anniversary is 3/22 & I was looking forward to going to dinner with Misha the next night, but I’d be okay with Boy2 making an appearance as early as that day.

I’m not on bedrest, but Dr. F wants me to limit my activity. That’s not terribly easy with the most active toddler in the world running around the house. He’s so busy!

So that’s where we are at this point. Hopefully Boy2 will stay put until I serve him an eviction notice & hopefully he’ll have a name by then. Good, bad or indifferent please leave a comment telling me what you think of our name options & how you think Elan is pronounced. I’m so tired of the name game I could cry.

Just like with Isabell, I don’t want to get into the details of her death. I want to remember what an amazing dog she was. I’ll remember how patient she was with Avi and his sometimes overzealous displays of affection. I’ll remember her doggie smile and how much she loved car rides. I’ll remember how she loved everyone she met and accepted every new person as her best friend.

We had a long time with her and I think we gave her the best life we possibly could. I sincerely hope that she felt as much love from us as we did from her and that we made her happy.

This is an old post I wrote about Baby and Maggie, who we had to put to sleep last fall.

Happy on her last car ride

This is made so much harder since we had Maggie euthanized in the fall, but watching her decline is worse. It’s the right thing to do, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

I’m going to miss her so much.

Baby, Isabell & Maggie -December, 2008

Baby being silly.

Baby & Zoë

35 weeks pregnant with Avi

and…

29 weeks pregnant with Boy2

Other than a little less ass, there’s not much difference in these pictures. Yeah. I’m so screwed.

My first pregnancy was a disaster from start to early finish. I had nausea from 2 days after finding out I was pregnant to 3 days after the d&c. I think I lost 13 pounds in the couple of months I was pregnant.

My pregnancy with Avi wasn’t better. I came home from the hospital 33 pounds lighter than I started the pregnancy. I’m so thankful that my OB was willing to induce me 10 days before his due date. I was at the end of my rope.

Now I’m 29 weeks pregnant with Boy2. I lost 5 pounds early on but then hovered before I started gaining some. Friday I was up 8 pounds from my starting weight but I lost two this weekend because I’m having a hard time keeping anything down. I had been stuffing myself in the hopes that when I threw up some food would stay down and apparently that was working, but I just can’t do it anymore.

My throat is raw and I have a constant cough. I don’t know how bulimics do this. My OB expects me to be down around 30 pounds again when I come home from the hospital.

I’ve had more bleeding with this pregnancy than I had with Avi, but haven’t had the scary test results. With Avi the first trimester screening came back with a high likelihood of Down’s syndrome and the second trimester screening came back with an even higher likelihood of spina bifida, which was already a concern because of my seizures and the medication I take to control them. Thankfully, both were wrong, but the stress brought on by that was terrible.

All in all, I hate being pregnant. Avi was worth every miserable moment and I know Boy2 will be as well, but I really wish I could fast forward. Keep your fingers crossed that my delivery goes as well as it did with Avi. I think I’ve earned it.

November 16 at 2:01 pm our lives were turned upside down (in a good way). The baby formerly known as Boyshteyn was born and we officially became a mom & dad. (It’s so strange being someone’s mom.) My new goal in life is to be a trophy MILF*. The hyperemesis helped quite a bit as I came home from the hospital about 30 lbs lighter than before I got pregnant.

Enough about me (for now) I present the cuteness that is Avi Daniel:

Asleep at the hospital after nursing

Second day home!

Christmas baby

He likes his tiger cuddle

The baby in jeans with his cowboy boot socks! So not impressed with mom.

For more pictures see Months 1 & 2 albums and previous post.

He’s kind of awesome. Even the crying, abusive nursing and projectile spitting up hasn’t changed my opinion of him. (Okay, it’s only changed it a little bit.)

I’ve abandoned the blog for the past few months mostly because I’ve felt like crap. If I had blogged it would have been all about how pregnancy sucks, vomiting continuously sucks, and how miserable I was in general. I just wasn’t one of those women who enjoy being pregnant. I couldn’t wait for November. No, I don’t think we’ll have more kids, stop asking please.

The hyperemesis got somewhat more manageable as in I was mostly sick in the mornings & early afternoons, but felt okay-ish in the evenings. The nausea never went away, but at least it wasn’t as bad in the evenings & I didn’t usually vomit then.

At my 36 week (it was actually 36 weeks, 4 days) appointment with the perinatologist, she decided that since I was still so sick & the baby was healthy and at a good size I could be induced at 38 weeks. I could have kissed the woman & did in fact hug her. I seriously wanted to cry I was so happy. I never wanted to be induced, but the chronic nausea was messing with my head.

Birth story time (feel free to skip this part)

My OB decided that I would go in at night on November 15th to get Cervidil because I was only dilated 1 cm. We went to the Woman’s Hospital around 8:30 that evening & checked in to labor & delivery. I got my Cervidil a little after 9 (that was not fun) and went to sleep soon after. The thought was the Cervidil would work it’s magic over night & I’d be ready to go in the morning at 8 am. Ha! It only got me dilated to 1.5 cm.

At 7 am my day nurse, Liz, (I love her more than words can say) got me up to shower & get ready for the induction. We started the Pitocin at 8:30 and by 9:00 I was having some pretty good contractions. The OB arrived & broke my water a little after 9. She said since I’d had such a shitastic pregnancy she was going to let me get my epidural whenever I wanted.

The contractions were pretty strong & I’ll admit that I wasn’t really handling them well. Liz said the epidural wouldn’t slow down labor because we were using the Pitocin, so I told her I wanted it right away. She said it would take Dr. O’Neil** about 20 minutes to get there, but he was in the room just under 5 minutes later.

Getting the epidural then was the best decision. Like ever. I do not regret it at all. It’s a personal choice, but to me it made the experience so much better. I see no point in suffering through labor and being miserable. I don’t think getting it makes me a bad mom or less of a woman (as some people say). I think my delivery would have been a much less positive experience if I hadn’t gotten it.*** I didn’t feel a single contraction or have any pain at all during delivery or for hours & hours after. Once I did have some pain in recovery it wasn’t terrible & the nurses said I was doing quite well.

I was worried about the pushing part, but other than asthma issues I was fine. During contractions Liz would count to 10 three times in a row and I would push during that time. By the third set of ten my lungs would be burning & I’d be gasping. A couple of Albuterol puffs took care of that though. I wasn’t really paying attention to how long it took. My mom says it was 45 minutes from first push to delivery, but the time passed so quickly. Apparently I’m a very effective pusher or something like that. ****

Avi had a really bad first night & we only got an hour of sleep. Swaddling helped a bit, but by the time we went home we were all exhausted. I am so thankful that my mom was here for the delivery & the coming home bit. I would have had no clue what to do with him. She held him when he screamed, and well, most of the other time too! I was too tired to do much of anything.

It’s been a huge adjustment for our house. The girls are no longer the center of the universe, which is hard on them, but Zoë is madly in love with Avi & I think the feeling is somewhat mutual. He reaches out for her and as long as she doesn’t try to lick him he likes looking at her & will sometimes coo at her.

Avi seems to have lactose sensitivity, which has gotten better since I cut milk & cheese out of my diet. From what I’ve read this is resolved with most babies by 3 months. Hopefully this is the case with Avi, but nothing is ever that easy for me!

He rapidly went bald (he’s rockin’ some serious male pattern baldness) but the hair is coming back in already. We have good days & bad days***** but it’s really neat watching him change & develop into a person.

I think this post is long enough, so I’ll end here with my favorite pregnancy photo:

34 weeks, 4 days - exactly 4 weeks before delivery

*not really, but it sounds good.

** seriously, ask for him if you deliver at The Woman’s Hospital

***I’m not justifying my decision, just gloating. No, I don’t think women who don’t get epidurals are silly or martyrs… Really, honestly, I don’t!

**** No, that’s not enough to make me want to deliver ever again

*****Make that bad weeks in some cases

2 days old

Going to the doctor

Pretty much just chillin'

Playtime!

The rest of 2010 can bite me. Bring on 2011!